Walking in somone else's shoes...sort of

Here are some interesting stats. According to the CDC in the US:

• 10.9% of women ages 15-44 suffer from infertility of some sort
• 6% of women ages 15-44 are infertile
• 11% of couples who already have a child go on to experience secondary infertility
• Women under 35 have about a 15% chance of having a miscarriage 

Chances are you probably know someone who has experienced a miscarriage or who has suffered with infertility of some degree. I used to think that I was a pretty sympathetic person when it came to interacting with people who were experiencing or had experienced infertility or miscarriages. There are many women that I personally know and love that have had to struggle with this trial, or who have had to struggle with it for many hard years. It can be kind of a touchy subject. With most things in life, if you want them bad enough, you can set a goal and make them happen. Having a child is not like that. Sure there are medications like Clomid or pricey treatments like In Vitro that can be tried, but success is not guaranteed. For other women, the struggle is not so much getting pregnant as it is staying pregnant. Sometimes it requires taking shots daily, daily medications, and bed rest. Yet still, after doing all these things, they still end up losing their baby, their dream. Some women never marry or marry later in life and never experience the opportunity to become a mother. Sadly, while these women are often dealing with these struggles in silence, there are many women in the world who are consciously choosing to abort their pregnancies or who choose not to love, nurture, and care for their children as they should.

For me, my first two pregnancies happened rather quickly.  However, this year when we decided to try for a third child things did not go as well as my previous two experiences. The initial getting pregnant happened fairly quickly. I found out that I was pregnant this past March. Our baby #3 would be due next month, in November. Since I've had spring and summer babies I was excited to have a child born in the fall. I think that once you get that positive test there is no way to not get attached. You start thinking, "Hmmm.. I wonder if it will be a boy or girl?", "If it is another boy what will we name him?", "I wonder who the baby will look like?"- you get my point. I even made sure to be prepared. Knowing that I get miserably sick during pregnancy, I stocked up our freezer with freezer meals in preparation. All of the excitement came crashing down the day that I felt the horrible cramps followed by the blood. The moment I saw it I knew what it meant. The tears started falling instantaneously and when I called Isaac to tell him what was happening he could barely understand me through the sobs.

I was eventually able to hold myself together and while I was still disappointed, I figured I was handling things pretty well. I just figured that with any luck we'd be pregnant the following month. The sooner the better! That would be the best possible scenario. But, when the next month came, there was no exciting news and that soon became a pattern.

I'm not sure how many pregnancy tests I blew through. Then the time came that all of the meals in the freezer had to be eaten because I didn't want them to spoil. The hardest part of all for me was the pregnancy announcements.

Oh the pregnancy announcements! Especially the ones that were as far along or close to where I would have been. I'm not going to lie, it hurt! Now PLEASE don't get me wrong, having a baby is a wonderful thing and a very special time in a person's life. It was not so much that I wasn't happy for everyone else, it just made me sad that I didn't have any exciting news to share as well. Soon it felt like everywhere that I turned there was pregnancy. So many pregnancy announcements, growing bellies, comments, gender reveals, baby showers, you name it. It suddenly seemed to be everywhere!

I know it sounds silly, but I honestly began to question if I would ever be able to have children again. What if I did get pregnant again but had another miscarriage? What then? It seemed like my life was being controlled by trying to get pregnant. It became standard when taking a pregnancy test to not expect anything but to hold on to a little hope that maybe just maybe things would be different that month.

I'm sure you've figured out where I am going with all of this given the title of my blog. After trying a total of 8 months I was completely caught off guard to see a positive. I could hardly believe it! I am due May 7, two days before Dylan's birthday. Dylan and Owen were both late and there's no chance of being induced for me, so things could definitely get interesting in May!

Honestly, sharing the news of being pregnant isn't something that I really look forward to. In fact I pretty much dread it. There are several women that I know as well as some that I know but may be unaware of their struggles that this news may sting. For those women, I wish that I could let them know in some way how truly sorry I am to cause them any pain. The words it's not fair have never rang more true. I know that my experience doesn't really compare and come close to the same magnitude of the struggles other women are dealing with. But in my own small way I was able to get just a glimpse. 

Our life NOW

Look who's back from her blogging hiatus. Hopefully I'll stick around for awhile! So, what is new for the Ashment's? Last I left you we hadn't quite moved into our new home. Ha, ha, as you can tell from the date (just scroll down a couple of posts), we've been living here for over two years now. And the best part is. . . we're still here!! It's SO nice to have a place to call home and not have to pick up every year or two and move to a new place. Homeownership is bliss! Not that it doesn't have its challenges as well. I still have MANY things to do to make this place my own, BUT since we're not going anywhere anytime soon, I figure I still have time.

(Since no blog post is complete without some pictures, indulge me as I share some recent pictures of us from our recent trip to the beach.)

In other news...Owen is no longer a baby. Boo! It seriously breaks my heart. My little man just turned 3 on Saturday. We had a blast celebrating with him. I fixed him his favorite, "Cancakes", or in this case waffles. Then we went to our local zoo. There we got to see the many animals and we all rode on the carousel and the train ride. All of that animal watching got us hungry for some nice birthday lunch/dinner. What better place to satisfy hunger than The Cheesecake Factory. Mmmm!! I loved that it saved my the hassle of trying to whip up something special and allowed me to spend more of my time celebrating with my little man. When we got home he opened his presents and was super happy with his selection of superheroes that he received from us. We finished the night with cake and ice cream and watched old episodes of Spiderman on Youtube. It was a great day, and I enjoyed spending it with my favorite people.

 






 









 





Dylan is no longer an adorable curly haired toddler, he is now an adorable kindergartener. It still blows me away that he is in school. This is the beginning of the end. . ha, ha! I can't believe that for the next 15 years at least I will have my children in school. Then there will be church missions, and college after that. I seriously better not blink these boys are growing up SO fast! Anyhow, from what I can tell, Dylan is really enjoying school so far. For the next couple of weeks they will be doing a color unit from Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See? For each day they will talk about a different color and will dress to school and have a snack in that color. Sounds like fun!













 



As for me and Isaac, not too much has changed. Still so in love! I'm so glad that I have him to grow old with!

 

Anyhow, that's all for now. Stay tuned for more of our adventures...

The big chicken

On Friday I was in Marietta shopping around for appliances and also stopped by A Classy Flea (which I highly recommend if you are in the area), and we drove past the Big Chicken, which is actually a landmark here in Georgia. (Excuse my run on sentence :)) If you have followed my blog, you will remember that Dylan is afraid of chickens thanks to my sister, Kara's rubber chicken photography prop. To my surprise Dylan seemed like he thought that the Big Chicken was pretty cool. So I promised him that if he was a good boy while we ran our errands, I would take him to go eat there. He wasn't entirely good while I was shopping (he spilled a sippy cup full of water down his shirt), but I guess I have no backbone because we went anyways.

When I took Dylan out of the car and he saw the Big Chicken out of the safety of our vehicle with the chicken's beak going up and down, and its eyeball going around in circles, he decided that this huge chicken was bad news. He wouldn't let me put him down, and even threw in some, "Oh no! Chicken!" statements. When we made it inside, and we ordered our lunch I asked the lady if she knew of many kids that were scared of the chicken. She told me that she had never heard of any. So, I've decided that Dylan is a big chicken! How ironic!

Don't get me wrong, I adore Dylan more than anything. I just think it's funny how the littlest things can scare him.

Here are some pictures I took off my phone, so excuse the blurriness.

Once we were leaving, he didn't seem as afraid. But I think that's because the chicken was behind him!

Surprise, surprise

Wow! I am the worst blogger ever! So, it has been a long time since I last posted and things have been pretty busy. They are about to get even more busy because...

Hmmm... What could it be? Scroll down.

We are going to be moving! I am SO EXCITED! After living in apartments for the last 8 years since I graduated High School we are finally achieving the American dream. Look how cute it is!



It is even more beautiful inside. Plus the backyard is BIG and really nice too! I LOVE it!!!

At least someone thinks that I am funny!

Owen's first giggles on 11/10.

* I am finally caught up on my blog posts! Scroll down if interested! :)

Friends forever!

Dylan Update- 2 1/2 years old

It seemed like Dylan was just having his second birthday, and we're already half way to his next. Dylan remains a VERY active boy who loves his cars (especially his Cars movie cars). Dylan is very good at memorizing things and can recite many songs and books and parts of movies.

I have had some concerns for quite some time about some developmental issues and finally decided to have him evaluated. It was determined that he has some verbal communication and social skills issues. I in no means think that this makes him unintelligent, it just means that he has a difficult time understanding the method in which things are presented to him. I grew up with a learning disability that I feel is similar to what he may have, and somewhere down the road, something clicked and I had an easier time learning.

He has a huge vocabulary (and labels SO many things) but has a difficult time combining his words to be able to effectively communicate. He doesn't answer questions, and sometimes has a hard time asking for things that he wants. For example, he'll struggle to get out of his high chair and won't say, "get out".

Socially, he likes to do his own thing. I have noticed that he has gotten a little better in this area, but still keeps to himself a lot. He also doesn't listen to inhibitory commands like, "STOP!"

They told me that at his age, I should be able to ask him a question like, "Where did Daddy go?", and he should be able to tell me he went to work. I was working on this with him the other day, and asked, "Where did Daddy go? He went to...", and Dylan responded, "three". Isaac and I thought that was so cute!

So, now once a week, someone from a Georgia program called Babies Can't Wait comes to work with him. Our first time doing this was this past week. It went well and she gave me some things to work on with him until her next visit. I am so glad that they have early intervention programs out there to help correct these issues at such an early age.




The many faces of Dylan.


He still likes to play in the dryer, and most recently figured out how to shut the door with him inside.


The workings of Dylan. Lotion everywhere!!! Poor Owen! This is what happens when you turn your back on him for one minute.